


Episode Drabbles

by peggin



Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Canon, Gap Filler
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-10-30
Updated: 2005-12-08
Packaged: 2018-12-27 04:41:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12073728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peggin/pseuds/peggin
Summary: When I found out what a drabble was, I liked the idea of challenging myself to write something and fit it into exactly 100 words, so I decided to start writing episode-related drabbles.





	1. Episode 101

**Author's Note:**

> Note from IrishCaelan, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [The Brian/Justin Fanfiction Archive](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Brian_Justin_Fanfiction_Archive).

Justin hadn’t been expecting to fall in love that night. He’d just wanted to find out what sex was all about. To declare to the world, or at least to himself, “Yes, I am a gay man.” But Justin hadn’t counted on the way his heart began to beat faster as soon as he laid eyes on _him_ , the way it felt to be kissed by him, the look on his face when he held his son for the first time. All Justin had been looking for that night was to get laid. He hadn’t counted on meeting Brian Kinney.


	2. Episode 101

Brian began repeating the words he had used countless times before. I've had you. I don't do repeats. I don't believe in love. It was just a fuck. The words had always been so easy. Besides, all the other guys already knew the drill. And none of them had ever really wanted anything more from him than a good, hot fuck.  
  
But none of the other guys had cried when he told them to get lost. As he watched Justin get into his car and drive away, for the first time Brian wondered if he might have made a mistake.


	3. Episode 103

Earlier, when Emmett was looking for Katsuo, I laughed. When he said, "He's so sweet, so innocent; what if some cock-hungry queen tries to have his way with him?" I treated it like a joke. But now, as I stand here watching Justin dancing with these two guys... guys the little shit stole from me... Emmett's words come back and mock me. Unlike Emmett's hustler, Justin **is** sweet and innocent. He's only had sex once; he's not ready for what these guys want to do with him. I can't let him go with them. He's coming home with me tonight.


	4. Episode 104

I don’t care what anyone says, I know he wants me. Michael says all I was to Brian was a one night stand... and maybe it did start out that way. But I’ve already been with him twice, and I know there will be more. There has to be more.  
  
When I hear his voice downstairs, I hold my breath, hoping I’m right, terrified that I might be wrong. But then he finds me in Michael’s room. When he closes the door behind him I know what’s about to happen, and I smile. I was right, he does want me.


	5. Episode 105

Sometimes he just makes me so angry. He was supposed to come over for dinner, spend a little time with Gus, and try to be nice to Melanie. He never showed up. He never even called. It's almost midnight, and now is the time he decides to come knocking at my door. I should be furious. Five minutes ago I **was** furious. But, somehow, he just flashes that smile at me, and I melt. I can't stay angry with him. And when I see him holding our son, I just love them both so much it almost makes me cry.


	6. Episode 106

I knew he'd show up! But Daphne is crazy if she thinks I'm going over there to talk to him. I can't do that. There's a lot I still have to learn about Brian Kinney... and I want to learn everything there is to know... but one thing I have learned is this: He wants me, but he hates it when I chase after him. If I go over to him, he'll say something nasty and push me away. But if I stand here and wait for him, eventually he'll come to me. He won't be able to stay away.


	7. Episode 107

I don't understand this kid. No matter what I do, Justin keeps coming back. I all but call him a piece of trash and he practically begs for more.

And why do I keep letting him in? It's always been easy to tell the guys I've fucked that they're yesterday's trick. Why can't I do the same with him and mean it?   
  
I'm sure I'll get sick of him one of these days. But, as I pull on his nipple ring then offer to kiss it and make it better, I realize that day is not going to be today.


	8. Episode 108

I so was sure I wanted him out of my place. That sending him back to his parents would be the best thing for everyone. Even though his father beat the crap out of me, I was sure Justin would be better off living with his parents than with me. But that was when I thought it was **me** his father hated. Then I heard all of his father's "rules". All I could think of was my own father, and I knew I couldn't let Justin stay there. No kid should have to live with a father who hates him.


	9. Episode 109

Gus starts crying, and I realize I can't do it. I know it's what I agreed to. I never wanted a kid; it was just supposed to be a favor to help Lindsay... but all that was before Gus was born. He was just an idea when I agreed to it. He wasn't real then. Now he's here and I love him. I remember what Justin said, that if I give Gus away, he'll think I didn't want him. I know what that's like. I don't want my Sonny Boy growing up like I did. I can't sign these papers.


	10. Episode 110

I don't understand myself. Justin got my place robbed, stole my credit card, and ran away to New York. Because of that kid, I had to spend five and a half hours in the car with the Andrews Sisters. Between the airline ticket, the luxury suite, and lobster and caviar from the room service menu, I don't want to think about how much he put on my credit card. The minute I saw him, I should have just wrung his neck. But, I am so damn relieved that he is okay, I find myself fucking him into the mattress, instead.


	11. Episode 111

I'm trying to be brave. I don't want to ruin Michael's birthday, but I feel like I'm about to fall apart. I don't know how I'm going to get through this party, let alone the whole weekend. Why doesn't Brian have any rooms in his loft? The only place I could find to be alone is the bathroom, so here I am. What if I have it? God, I'm so scared; please let me be okay... I'll do anything if I'm all right. I'll never have sex with another man again. Just please, let the doctor tell me I'm negative.


	12. Episode 112

Oh my God! He invited me back to his place! I've never been this excited! I know I've been to Brian's place before; lots of times. But it was always because I was there with him at Woody's or Babylon and he would just grab me and take me home. This is different. This is plans... plans for later. It has to mean something.  
  
I look at the clock. Two more hours until my shift is over. About a year later, I look at the clock again. An hour and fifty minutes. God, this day is never going to end.


	13. Episode 113

"What have I done?"  
  
The words echoed through Melanie's head as she lay in a strange bed beside a woman she barely knew. She hadn't planned this. She had just wanted a cigarette, a glass of wine, and a friendly ear to listen to her problems. But one glass of wine had become two and then three. Before she knew it, she was going home with Marianne.  
  
As she began to climb the stairs she was overwhelmed with a feeling of dread, unsure of how she could face Lindsay. All she could think was, "How can I make this right?"


	14. Episode 114

Justin noticed Kip sitting across the bar, and he quickly recognized him from Brian's loft. He knew right away that he had to do something. He had told Michael that he would help Brian if he could, and Brian that he would do anything to help, and he had meant every word of it.  
  
Justin got up and walked over to Kip. He almost immediately decided that the man was creepy and not even hot. He couldn't imagine what had possessed Brian to fuck the little weasel. But that didn't matter; all that mattered was getting Brian out of trouble.


	15. Episode 115

Why the fuck did I listen to Debbie? I knew this was a bad idea; my father reacted exactly the way I expected. His words play over and over again in my head, "You're the one that should be dying instead of me." I wanted to hit him. But if I hit him, that would make me just like him, so I satisfied myself with slamming a fist into one of his boxes. After all these years, after all the things he's said and done to me, you wouldn't think his rejection would still hurt this much, but it does.


	16. Episode 116

All morning, from the moment Brian showed up at the diner for breakfast, I'd been dying to tell him how great I did on my SATs and let him know what schools I'm applying to. I wanted him to be proud of me. That's not exactly what happened, but what did happen was so much better. I never imagined that he'd be upset about my going away to school, and that he'd let me know it. And not only that, but I even gave him a chance to deny it, and he didn't! This has been the best morning ever!


	17. Episode 117

Who does this Gui asshole think he is, telling me he's going to adopt Gus? I have to stop this from happening, but how? Then Justin says something about achieving your goals, and I realize that maybe I can fix this. I can give Gus to Melanie. All the problems between Mel and Lindz started when I refused to sign my parental rights over to Melanie, and I realize now that I can do that and still be his father. Maybe if I do this, I can get the munchers back together and get Gui out of our lives forever.


	18. Episode 118

You're amazed at how many emotions you can go through in such a short amount of time. He tells you he's not going to Dartmouth, he's staying right here in Pittsburgh, and you feel relieved, excited, elated. You're immediately angry at yourself; you're not supposed to care whether you get to see him every day. You try to make light of it, pretend you're disappointed, tell him that you thought you were finally rid of him. He tells you, "Not until I say so," and suddenly, you're terrified. Because you know, you just know, that someday, he will say so.


	19. Episode 119

Michael thinks I'm using sex, drugs and booze to hide my true feelings. Maybe he's right. But if I am hiding my feelings, it's because I don't know how I'm supposed to feel. I remember all the cuts and bruises he gave me as a kid, and there's a part of me that's glad the son of a bitch is gone; the part that wants to dance on his grave. But there's another part of me, a part that I'll never admit to anyone, that is heartbroken, knowing I've lost all hope of ever gaining my father's love and approval.


	20. Episode 120

"Check back with me in an hour."  
  
You'd think, after all this time, I’d be used to having him say things like that to me. But I'm not, and I doubt I ever will be. It still hurts like a knife in my heart every time he pushes me away.  
  
I know it's pathetic, but I just can’t help myself. As the hour comes to a close, I find myself heading his way. All I want is for him to tell me that he's done looking, at least for tonight, and that I'm the one he wants to take home.


	21. Episode 121

When Brian told you he was going to New York, you didn't think anything could hurt worse than that. Now he's telling you that he's never going to look back, that he's never even going to think about you, and that he expects you to do the same, and you realize you were wrong.  
  
He says you'll be fine without him, but you know you won't be. When you think about the rest of your life without him in it, it's like all the air has rushed out of the room; it's all you can do to just keep breathing.


	22. Episode 122

Brian had been running away from his feelings for months. He couldn't run anymore; his own words to Michael made him realize that.  
  
"Life not worth living if you not take risk."  
  
The words echoed through his mind as he showered, dressed, and drove across town. He nearly chickened out and turned back several times, but each time he repeated the words and pushed himself to keep going.  
  
He held his breath as he stepped into the room full of dancing teenagers.  
  
It was time he stopped running from his feelings; it would be the biggest risk of his life.


End file.
